Oh ya..
Attended "journey to intimacy" course. And I've realized I'm desired for motherly love so much :( mama is the person I care the most at home. Throughout the lesson, when pastor asked to imagine someone u love and somebody that is important, I could only think of mama for most of the time :( I love her so much that I wan her to have eternal life. Of course I want everyone of my family to believe and accept Christ. Today I argued with mum bout religion. I guess that was fine. At least she knows some truth. Later, I told an aunty, Jenny Lau about my problem. I complained that I always love to share my problems with mama, and I wish to get attention and care from her. However, she just won't listen and show some care that I need for most of the time. I know that I shouldn't expect her to be the "mother" that I always imagine about. I just need her to listen, advice, comfort, encourage or even hug me when i'm upset. I cried when aunty told me she always listen to what her daughter shares about, and she often hugs and hold their hands :') I cried cause I think that was what I needed the most when I'm depressed. I'm not a tough girl if you know me well. Mum, it's not that if I'm a Christian, I've no hardships in my life. It's not that I can settle all things by my own. Hod promised he'll help me put through, yes! But it doesn't mean I don't need somebody! Those person who pull me up and gave me courage are the guardian angels god sent to me :( mum I'm not a perfect girl, I have fragile heart. I need you so much. I really hope you can understand :( and I really hope I can change to be a better daughter. I love you mum :(
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