我，是有喜欢过他。好久了。另一个他。但，他太好了。好到我有点压力了。颖如说，人可以分为两种，一种是注重办事，一种是注重人与人之间的关系，即是友情。他偏向友谊。这一点，真的让我头痛。我人生中摆第一的，是上帝。接下来是家人，之后是事业。其实朋友对我来说，固然重要，但他们并不是我的第一或第二。我觉得各人有各人的看法吧。说来说去，我只要求未来的对象，是一个与我有共同目标的人。就是把上帝摆第一。爱家人过朋友。有自己的理想。简单:)说来说去，我还是很在意他呀。现在心里好空虚。一时心里有那个他，一时心里有他。好矛盾。有谁未曾有过吃醋的感觉，哈哈。就因这种感觉，我才在这里写东西呀。我在 summer camp 里无意中留意到了一些东西。心有点碎的感觉，突然笑不出了。脸塌下了。可我没有喜欢他，i mean，认真的，去maintain那种关系。我深知我们有点不可能，做朋友真的好好玩哦。我不想在做错决定了。
不知何时才能找到一个真正爱我的人，呵呵。嗨上帝，你有在帮我问媒吗? hee..
Anyway, 这件事有点在我预料之中了。我不把你摆在前一点儿了 :)
Phew.. SPM is finally ended! but the last paper, mandarine was so damn difficult. I will be very happy if i can get a B. its so disappointing that i didnt even understand what was the CHINA WEN YAN WEN talking about.. :( sigh.. I wasnt that happy after spm.. after reached home, i watched niga higa's videos till 7pm -.- i;ve nothing to do
then parents bring me for dinner and go for shopping. But end up with tangan kosong. hee
Anyway, i want to show my gratitude to ppl who have accompanied me during SPM:
First and foremost, My God my jesus :) i really want to thank God for everything, without him, Im nothing. Without him, i will be unable to manage everything in time. He is my saviour. I did smoothly for all the papers except for BC but at least, i didnt write sth which is out of topic. During addmaths test, i did extra question but i didnt realise. When i came to realise, i was like OH NO WHY AM I SO SILLY? WHY DIDNT I CHOOSE PROPERLY? WHY DID I DO THE QUESTION THAT IM NOT CONFIDENT IN AND WASTED TIME ON THE MORE DIFFICULT QUESTION?? WHY WHY WHY.. Then at last 15 minutes, i did the question which i thought it is a very simple question. After the exam, i discussed with friends. And i've found that the "simple question" that i did only score 1/10 marks! and thank GOD praise the LORD! For the more difficult question, i get it all correct. hehe :) I prayed to God everytime and i can feel that he is always with me :) thanks God :)
Next i wana thank my parents! MAMA! thanks for not asking me to do housework along the years.. HAHA bad kid. thanks for cooking a lot of delicious food for me. slrppp. But i have to blame u for making me fat right now! XD hehe.. and thanks for helping me to clean my dirty and untidy table. Oh ya! thanks for waking up at 3am to help me in seni. im very touched :') hee.. AND DADDY! thanks for all the moral support that you have given to me (which a mother didnt speak out in words!) thanks for forcing me to go out lim kopi, eat, shopping when i was having my exam. Though u know i cant go but thanks for inviting -.- haha.. its better to invite cause it makes me feel better :p thanks for driving me to school and thanks for answering my annoying questions! mum and dad u guys are superb! sorry if i suddenly get angry or mood swing! :p
NEXT! my friends.. they helped me a lot .. like a lot u know.. they answered my doubts and helped to solve problems that i do not understand.. and my neng gang.. hee.. we did trial papers together.. the plan is very benefiting.. must chia them sth good! ^^ thanks jac and yunru for supporting me always too :) im blessed with great frends eh? :")
not to forget my sisters! :) i cried at the night before the 1st exam.. i was so stressed with BM essay cause its so scary! :( bibi consoled me and i felt relieved. After reading beh beh's blog, i was reminded to put all my worries on god and hand everything to Him :)
Its really a hectic month.. now everything is over.. Challenges are waiting for me in the future. Now, i should think deeply about what to do next :)
sunday means so much for me. I can go to church and listen to pastor preaching about how great our God is, at the same time reminding us about our responsibilities as a christian.
Anyway, somehow.. when he sit so near to me.. I hardly can focus and enjoy every moment with God. His laughters, ughh.. can't get out of my mind. Maybe, maybe we should be friends again? i'm trying.. but i dunno if he is willing, or not :(
Hmm, i guess God is the one and only one, the mediator which can fix the relationship bond between us. I will keep this in my prayer :) btw, im joining christmas parade! kinda excited about it ^^
Next, my friend, he went to church with jac and I. But i realise that we didnt do much to let him know more about God. I tried to let him know, but i duno if he understand or not. He didnt speak out, and i duno what is he thinking. I wish i know about it, cause i want him to feel God's love. God's amazing :)
people always blame christian for asking them to join church mass or church activities. In reality, christian just want to share the joy in themselves with people out there. God brings joy, yeah.. Joy that cannot be described in words if u never experience it. Not to say that God never let u experience the feeling. God does miracle and help us in everything every day. Dont u ever realise? its ok :) you're in my prayer, u will slowly understand. U might feel that, NOOO i dont and i wont gonna be like a christian! hey but u know what, God hears u! and he will do something to change you! lala ;) u cant defeat God cause he is the highest, the greatest :)
If and only if one looks at a wider horizon about every single thing that happen in their life, the flowers, the animals, the beautiful place and the universe.. all those amazing God's creation.. they will be able to know more about the mysterious phenomenon that somehow cannot be explained scientifically.
"Who create it?" now im asking this question, Who, who creates us, and who creates the universe, the earth from the beginning? isit just appear naturally in a place where we called universe? might be? then.. who creates universe?? 0.0 Now u cant answer. But we know, God, God creates everything! Look at all these pictures, picture speaks a thousand words.. then you will realise, all these do not come naturally.. There's this God, one and only one true God, exist in this world.. :)
A foetus in a mother's womb.. He or she comes to this world for one reason, which is, to live for God :)
